Current mood:	satisfied
Current music:	Wu Tang Clan- Triumph

Dear Anonymous Mister,
It's not okay to be madly in love with people who push dope on people...

It's not okay to stick by the side of someone who steals from supposed friends for a fix...

It's just not okay




Best thing thats happened to you, eh?

Those comments just prove that the disease of addiction is beyond your understanding.

I am not proud of what I did when I was a junky. Things far worse than you could imagine.
But that wasn't me.
It was my disease.

I'm not saying the things I did were right. But there was a reason for it.

And I'm honest about the things I did. And I'm willing to make amends to everyone I hurt.

Being a drug addict is miserable and painful. Your health suffers. YOur mid suffers and you spirit suffers. You hurt alot of people, but most of all you hurt yourself.

YOU LIVE TO USE AND USE TO LIVE.

Its a kind of suffering only another addict can truly understand.
Its a pain like no other.

Addiction is the only disease you will be hated for having.
Addicts don't want to be addicts. They can't help it.

I Found this in the Clean and Sober (Narcotics Anonymous) LiveJournalCommunity:

What Addicts Do

My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behaviour. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behaviour cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.

I hope that helps paint a better picture for you.


And for the record:

Steve doesn't push dope on people either. And he never did. People are grossly uninformed.

I can't defend what he did. I'm not even gonna try cause it was wrong. But I will say that he didn't get a fix out of it. It was to avoid an ass whooping. But it was definatley addict behavior. And definatley wrong.

He is the best thing thats ever happened to me. Steve is. Not JUNKY Steve. The real Steve McBride is amazing. And he still exsits deep inside. And he's coming back and starting to thrive.

And I stick by him not for things he does as an addict, but for the real McBride.

The REAL Steve who is funny, sweet, charming, intelligent, goofy, honest, active healthy and strong. and Amazing. That's the Steve I fell in love with. ANd that's the Steve I believe. and will stick but til the end.

And if thats just not okay, then so be it.

But like I said you couldn't possibly understand. I can't make you understand.

By the way, who are you? What's with the anonymous thing? It'd be nice to know who I was talking to....